Archive for the ‘Acceptance’ Category

Outing Other People’s Humanity

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

At this year’s Academy of Management conference in Montreal, artist and scholar, Nancy Adler shared that she sees her role as “outing other people’s humanity” while speaking at one of several events in her honor. As she reflected on a few colleagues who were closet musicians, visual artists, and/or participated in their community in other generative ways, she challenged us by asking us why we, in business and scholarship, haven’t begun to think about the beautiful?

Nancy Adler Speaking at Academy of Management Dinner in Montreal

Adler followed this with three more provocative questions about beauty and leadership.

  1. Can we reclaim our ability to see the beauty that’s there?
  2. Can we reclaim our ability to imagine what’s beautiful?
  3. Can we reclaim our role as leaders and human beings to make the world a more beautiful place?

If we truly take up Adler’s challenge and surrender to living these particular questions, I believe we cannot help but out our own and each others’ humanity. For as we reclaim our ability to see, imagine and create the beautiful, the artificial barriers that separate our playful self from our serious work self will fall away, as will barriers separating our goal-oriented self, from our process self; our indoor self from our outdoor self, our artist self from our management self, and all of our other dualistic selves.

As a gay person, I have long held the position that to “out someone” is a violation that could potentially put the outed person in serious harm’s way—emotionally, socially, and even physically—depending on the context. In this case, outing should, except in cases of extreme hypocrisy (a vocally anti-gay public figure) be the sole business of the individual.

Adler has gotten me thinking, though. Just as more people take the risk of coming out about their sexual orientation makes the climate safer and more accepting for all (research shows that people who have a close acquaintance or family member who is gay are far more likely to be accepting), should we not be encouraging others to come out around other aspects of their humanity? Will this not make it safer and more acceptable to be human—to bring our whole selves to work, and into all aspects of our lives?

What, then, is our role as leaders, facilitators, and participants in co-creating the space in which it is safe enough to come out?

What beauty might we discover and co-create together when we reclaim this responsibility?

Lady GaGa and Permission-Giving

Monday, January 11th, 2010

“I didn’t fit in in high school and I felt like a freak. So I like to create this atmosphere for my fans where they feel like they have a freak in me to hang out with and they don’t feel alone. The whole point of what I do – The Monster Ball, the music, the performance aspect of it – I want to create a space for my fans where they can feel free and they can celebrate.”

In From Workplace to Playspace, I write about “Permission-givers.” They are the people who either by their example or encouragement give us permission to risk showing our whole selves, risk stepping out of our comfort zone and experimenting with new ways of thinking and being, and risk the discomfort that comes with learning and transformation.

Lady GaGa is a wonderful permission-giver and creator of playspace. She is also a “permission-taker” as she doesn’t wait to find out what the rules are, or wait for anyone else to give her permission, she just takes it. And by taking it and pushing the boundaries through her behavior, wild costumes and music, she opens up space for others to play with their own identities and capacities.

If you pay attention, you will find permission-givers and takers in every field, and in every successful organization. They are the people who don’t take themselves too seriously to play around with new and provocative possibilities, and risk doing things differently. They may challenge you out of your comfort zone simply by the non-traditional way they show up in the world. As they do, they are making more playspace for everyone.

One of the simplest ways you can create more playspace in your work and personal life is to notice and appreciate the permission-givers. Even better, be one yourself!